Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
