Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
