Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
