He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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