grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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