It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
