Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
