All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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