I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize