i may or may not be watching the land before time
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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