I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
