His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
