Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Randomize
