I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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