Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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