He uses pillows to masturbate.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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