So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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