I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
