hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
that's an acceptable place to lick
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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