Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
