If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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