Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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