Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize