Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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