$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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