I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize