I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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