No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Also, beer. Big fan.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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