I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
