best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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