I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize