i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Randomize