i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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