Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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