Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
