Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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