Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
