Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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