Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
