I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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