if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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