Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
