She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize