DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize