I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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