Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She's the barista slut.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
