Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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