how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
whose parrot is this?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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