I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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