Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
