I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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