I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
