I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
