Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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