Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
