i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
