please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Two words: nipple clamps
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