Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
