Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We had sex on a dog bed..
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
