The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
