Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
