Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
