he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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