May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
