So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
