some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
