just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
