i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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