who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think I am morally bankrupt
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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